| Monday, January 17th, 2005 |
| 9:22 pm |
as i've matured i've learned that it takes years or months to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, whether its right or wrong, to destroy it Current Mood:  disappointed |
| Tuesday, December 14th, 2004 |
| 9:27 pm |
im fucked im fucked im fucked
well today was alright. no one was really at school. lauren didnt go to zero mollie sarah and andie didnt go to first and mollie me and jessica didnt go to third. wow that was such a mission impossible to freaking get off school grounds. i hate yellow jackets. they're everywhere and they're freakin little golf carts make them so freakin fast. we had to run into every hall whenever we saw one so they wouldnt stop us. we eventually escaped though. haha. good times. well me and jess went back at lunch though cuz karissa needed a ride home. before i dropped her off we went to del so she could eat. then i pull up in her drive way to her apartments and i freakin stall in the middle of my little U manuver i was trying to do. a little scary but no worries it started up again. me and jess came back to my house. watched some t.v., talked you know hung out. well i had adult school at 3 so i had to take jessica home then get goin to school. so im on my way already dropped off jessica so im by myself driving up newland and i stall. i was pissed. mainly cuz i was by myself. i hate when this shit happens. so i put my hazards on open my hood and its smoking like crazy. some people stop and help me push it to the side but then they leave. then a motorcycle cop drives by and sees me so he stops. RRRrrr he was such a dick. i told him i cant start my car its overheated and he tells me i gotta get it outta here cuz im blocking traffic.WOW! what did he expect me to do. i was like ok. it cooled a little by then but its still pretty hot and i try to start it so i can move it. it wont. he tells me cuz im blocking traffic hes gonna have to write me a ticket. i couldnt believe him. then he gives me the option of getting it towed. wow i didnt know what to fuckin do. i didnt want a ticket cuz in order for him to do that he would have to look at my drivers licence which i didnt have with me of course so i just had him get the tow truck. the truck came and the guy was so creepy he stuttered like no other and it was just really bothering me cuz he wouldnt stop talking to me. so we get to my house and tells me i have to pay $65. i had no idea i was gonna have to pay right on the spot. the cop never told me that and well shit i dont know how this towing business works. so well ya i dont have a fucking dime on me. i felt like such an idiot. i tried telling him that i didnt know i was gonna have to pay, if anything i thought i was gonna get a bill or something and he basically laughed in my face. then he started talking to himself saying "what to do? what to do?" you have no idea what was going through my mind. i was just thinking whats he gonna make me do to make up for the $65 i dont know if hes a creepo like that but he just said he would come back at 6 when my mom gets home so she can pay. ya i was soooo scared to call her and tell her what happened. i mean i didnt even know where to start. what was i supposed to say. ya the car you tell me not to drive anymore broke down on me and now you have to pay $65 to the towing company. well i got the courage to call and tell her and like i thought she was upset. not as much as i thought she was gonna be but still upset. RRRrrrr. not a very good ending for the day. Current Mood:  stressed |
| Saturday, December 11th, 2004 |
| 10:02 am |
grandma hair
so....its time i write in this thing again. everything has been fun and great. hanging out with my girls every day. some drama occured in our group of extremely tight girls. i was upset and hurt for a little while there but thats over and done with and i thought everything was fine. i was wrong now new drama has occured and its just not going away. right now im just over everything and just want things to go back to normal. but the longer this shit lasts the more i get angrya and its getting to be the holidays and this shit just needs to all go away. anyway on top of everything i've been stressing out alot lately cuz i had no idea what the hell to get my secret santa but i got it and i really hope she likes it. shit i like it and if she doesnt i'll take it. haha jk. i think she'll like it. well this past week i've been hanging out with this boy derek from malibu. i met him at andies party. he's a pretty cool kid. sometimes weird though. i dont know we'll see what happens. right now i dont think anythings gonna happen. looks like it would be best if we were just friends but im open to anything right now. last night i was supposed to see him at britts birthday thingy but that never happened cuz they came home at like 11 or something. lame. me karissa jessica cierra julian casey lauren and her brothers matt and davey were all hanging out at laurens house. it was pretty fun though. i swear us girls are so bad at keeping secrets. its just eating away at us inside wondering who has who for our little secret santa game. davey was a little sad cuz he wasnt in it. i guess next year we can all get together and do it again and include davey.well im excited for winter break. but i wonder how thats gonna be cuz alot of the girls are leaving. :( im just gonna have to try to make the best of it....peace oh ya i totally forgot. i cut my hair. i dont like it cuz i have grandma hair now. yup its that shitty. im never cutting it again. i really get sad to see pics of me with my long jungle/hippie hair. so my advice to everyone. DONT CUT YOUR HAIR.just wanted add that in. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Sunday, October 31st, 2004 |
| 6:11 pm |
Rumors Rumors Rumors......
wow i cant believe i havent written in this thing since movie night. ALOT of shit has happened.....like HOMECOMING! that was such a great night. me karissa jessica cierra christine and mollie went over to teresas so she could do our makeup. it was so much fun. everything was so crazy cuz there were just way to many girls trying to get ready. shannon was there! i miss her shes so awesome i love her. i havent seen her in like a year it seems like. she hasnt changed a bit. shes still the greatest gangsta ever. but now she has bangs. shes so cute. after that we all went to mollies to take pictures and eat. oh my goodness! we really had the whole fucking crew over there. there was Mollie Jason Teresa Ryan T Lauren me Stacy Stopher Cierra Gorman Christine Ryan C Karissa Tony Jessica Julian Andie Lexy sarah and 2 of her friends. and on top of that everyones parents were there too! it was insane. so many pictures were taken. everyone was like blind by the time we left cuz of all the flashes from the cameras. we stayed there and ate in n out. that was so good. we finally left and had our little party train on the way to the dance in santa ana at the discovery center. it was so much fun. the dance was outside and it started to rain. i really didnt mind it at all though cuz it was way hot even though we were outside. it was kinda gross though cuz my hair turned into dreadlocks cuz of all the curls in my hair plus my hairspray and that mixed with the rain just made it a mess. we went inside and were planing on singing karaoke but we couldnt find the song we wanted and there were too many people in line. that was the best homecoming dance i've ever been to by far. after the dance we all went to shanes house for the afterparty. that was fun. me lauren christine gorman and karissa were there for like the whole night practically. we didnt leave till 5 am. there was a lot of drunk people there. the drunkest by far was logan. it was kinda scary actually. the RmG showed up too. kinda akward. well we went home and i got to sleep in my bed finally. for a while i kept dozing off when i was sitting in the most uncomfortable chair in the garage and it was freezing cuz i was still in my dress and i was soaking wet cuz i went outside with cierra to christines car so she could change and it was a fucking hurricane outside. we couldnt escape it. we even had an umbrella and we still were soaked. cierra dropped my phone in the gutter that was like 3 feet deep. it dried up by morning though and it works again now. so it got to be monday again and we have decided to have monday night football every night so everyone came over again. it was fun. we made it taco night. we are becoming such chefs its great. we watched the game and played jenga. it was alot of fun. another day that week me lauren christine cierra gorman and teresa went to the beach while it was raining and went swimming. our original plan was to go puddle jumping and well...if you think about it the ocean is the biggest puddle anyone will ever find. so we went for it. it was great. i loved it. i love how we can just get up and do something so spontaneous and the time of our lives. i'll never forget any of the adventures that i have with my girls. i cant really remember what else happened that week cuz it was a while ago. thursday was football game. we lost. it was really sad. we went into double over time. those boys played so hard. we deserved to win. oh well. that next saturday me alex lauren karissa and christine went to camerons house. shane logan and ryan were there. it was really fun cuz we were the first ones there and we just made it into our party and called all our friends and had them come over. jessica and gorman dropped by. then andie kaycee and alicia. i remember tony being there for a little bit. that night was kinda scary actually cuz i got completely hammered. i havent been that drunk since....i dont even know. i guess people saw me and logan being all over eachother but i dont remember that. i dont remember going to laurens house either. or throwing up there. i dont ever remember being in a car. i guess we went back to camerons cuz we couldnt stay at laurens. but i honestly have NO memory of this at all! this is what i remember. earlier that night i told logan that i would match him the entire night. whatever he drank i drank. then we played kings cups and i remember playing PS2. i remember going outside with logan to walk alex to her car then we came inside. talked to kaycee for a while. dont ask me about what though cuz i really dont know. i remember smoking the hooka. and thats about it. oh i have a faint memory of peeing in the gutter. i was told thats when i was at laurens. and thats about it. i wake up the next morning in a strangers bed not rememebering anything. i was so scared it wasnt even funny. so many things were rushing through my head. i heard some noises coming from the living room so i went out there and i saw karissa logan shane lauren christine and ryan. we talked for a while. trying to rememeber the night before. that wasnt my highest concern at the time though. i was scared for my life cuz i never told my mom that i wasnt coming home. i was so scared to call her cuz i knew i was gonna get in trouble. and i did. i got grounded for a week. it was shitty. she was pissed cuz the last i talked to her was the night before when me mollie lauren karissa alex and christine were at BJs celebrating mollies birthday and i told her we were going to camerons. that was it. i guess i deserved it. but i really didnt know what was going on that night cuz i was so fucked up. well because of that night the rumor at school is me and logan hooked up. THIS IS NOT TRUE. i know im telling everyone that i dont remember but i really dont think that happened. and if it did im pretty sure i would remember. so people just need to get over it cuz theres nothing to talk about. NOTHING HAPPENED. i couldnt really do anything the next week cuz you know i was grounded. my mom let me off the hook early though cuz shes the best mom ever and understands that its my senior year and i gotta live it to the fullest. i went to the game on thursday. we kicked marinas ass 55- 0 (i think) it was kinda boring though. its better when theres at least a little bit of a challenge. you know? after that we went to the school then to lamppost and hung out for a while. me karissa kaycee tony darren andie shane and logan were playing....i guess you could call it football....in the parking lot. we were mainly just throwing the ball back n forth. it was alot of fun though. me and teresa did our ritual of going to stater bros and buying gushers but this year i think they raised their prices. we couldnt afford and we were pretty sad but we just got fruit by the foot instead. it was getting late so we all went home. friday we all went looking for costumes. i got mine. i was a baseball player. i got my hat shirt spandex short shorts and socks. that night me cierra mollie sarah and karissa went to the haunted house at school. we saw christine ryan lauren casey and steven there. talked to them for a little bit and left. i was kinda sad lauren got stolen from us. i wanted to hang out with her and christine. oh well. we ended up leaving and going to shanes to watch euro trip. we were all tired and just went home after that. saturday morning i had to wake up so early so i could finally finish those damn FV vs. Edison posters for the boys. i got that done then laurens mom came and picked them up. i got in the shower to get ready for the night. then casey and lauren came over and we looked at pictures. then we left to go meet up with tyson to get some food but me and lauren didnt want to eat hawaiin food so we went to albertsons and walked around. when the boys got their food we left to to ryans to help set up for his party. i really wanted and needed to go to teresas though cuz i already told her i would but i didnt have a ride! i was so sad. teresa if you are reading this me and lauren asked EVERYONE 24/7 if they would give us a ride. we kept bugging everyone but they wouldnt and im soooo sorry i never made it i really am. you were on my mind the entire night. i just want to let you know that. when we got to ryans me and lauren were with britt while she was getting dressed up then i got my costume on. everyone started showing up and were all dressed up except for lauren. its ok though cuz shes vip. britt was a naughty school girl, ryan M was a edison track runner, casey was a vampire, tyson was a gangster/mafia guy, christine was a fairy, ryan C was a killer clown (his was by far the scariest costume) kevin was some character guy that i dont know the name of but it was a good costume, darren was george bush, we'll say steven was bob marley. in the middle of the party he left for a while and came back with his hart football warm up clothes on so he had 2 costumes for the night i guess. allen showed up later but he wasnt dressed. these 3 ugly ugly girls came over for a little bit. they left early though so that was fine. then the girls came over! cierra was a thug fairy, andie was a boy, kaycee was a school girl also, karissa was a pirate, sarah was ummm a jamaican person. i dont know how to spell what its actually called. and i dont want to try. and megan was a thug. they all looked so cute. they left after a little bit though. it was getting pretty cold cuz we were all in the garage and the door was open. ryan had a little heater in the corner of the room that me and tyson were fighting over for like the entire night. we tried sharing but it just didnt work. it was getting time to leave and christine adn lauren were coming over to my house but there was a problem. i lost my keys. i couldnt find them for the life of me. i was seriously looking for an hour and they just disapeared i swear cuz they were nowhere. we ended up having to stay at ryans. his room was so crowded. everyone was all squished on the floor. once again me and tyson started fighting over the blanket. people were telling us to share but really neither of us know how. we had to share a pillow too. that was kinda shitty. we ended up leaving and going to the living room that was better. this morning me christine and lauren left early cuz we had to get outta there and christine had church so me and lauren got dropped off at my house. my mom was a little upset but she got over it. me and lauren have been sleeping all day in my bed and doing nothing. her mom came and picked her up and now im home alone on halloween about to get in the shower. kinda scary. Current Mood: lonely |
| Thursday, October 14th, 2004 |
| 12:55 am |
Movie Night
tuesday was kinda shitty. everybody including me were a little mad cuz we knew that ashlee simpson was gonna be giving a surprise concert to FVHS. we all wanted to ditch but we couldnt risk it. after school we went to McDonalds for lunch. my car decided to break down in the parking lot though so all like 10 of the girlies came out and helped me get my car into a parking spot by pushing it. haha oh man im so thankfull that i have such awesome friends that arent embarrassed of my car. we discussed homecoming for a bit. there was still a few tweaks that needed to be straightened out. everything is fine now. at least to my knowledge. i then drove my car home when it broke down again when i was trying to park in my complex. but this time the girls werent with me. they were at the mall getting britts dress. im really excited shes going to the dance. so me and teresa had to push my car by ourselves to a parking spot. we hung out for a while at my house. ryan came and picked her up then later on christine jessica and lauren came and picked me up. we took jessica home so she could get ready for work then we got my free mcflurry. i didnt really like it that much to tell you the truth. we then went to ryans to pick him up and take him to work. then took lauren home so she could get ready for cheer. me christine and gorman went tanning then we all just went home. later on that night christine lauren gorman teresa tony shane and logan came over for tuesday night movie night. lol. we watched the texas chainsaw masacre which is a scary movie. just to let you know i dont watch scary movies. i havent for a really long time and i was a little upset that that was gonna be our movie for the night. it was so gross. tony kept messing with me and making me jump and scream every 5 minutes. overall it was a good night though. wednesday i cant really remember much. after school we went to taco bell to eat lunch then went tanning. i got dropped off at school so i could go to detention Current Mood:  good |
| Tuesday, October 12th, 2004 |
| 2:41 pm |
Monday Night Football Party!
yesterday was fun. it was modified monday so i got to sleep in for a little bit. me and mollie ended up ditching 2nd period though. ya i know i know im a bad kid. i really need to stop ditching but i cant help it. i do nothing in my ceramics class cuz a couple of someones named tony and wayne like to "borrow" my clay so i end up with none for me and just sit there all period and do nothing. me and mollie went back to my house and talked about homecoming. went back to school for 3rd and 4th. after school i went to lunch with brittany gorman and tous to taco bell. yuummm...brittany came back to my house for a lil while. we just talked for a while then she went home. christine and lauren came and picked me up and we went to go pick up laurens pictures from walmart then started driving around trying to figure out what to do cuz we really didnt want to go to tims house. so i suggested we go to the market so i could get some steak for my dinner cuz i had to cook for myself. ( my mom got a second job at target and wasnt gonna be home till 10 ) we then decided to all have dinner together at my house and cook our own food. christine then added in that it should be a monday night football party! so were in albertsons trying to figure out what to buy with a budget of like $18 while calling everyone inviting them to come over. we then realized we werent gonna be able to buy enough food for everyone so we decided to make it a pot luck football party. haha. well we bought our food. lauren figured out that we could buy alcohol from the store if we bought it through the do-it-yourself register. haha shes so smart. we went back to my house and started cooking our steaks, mashed potatoes, macoroni and cheese, and salad. tous and gorman came over and helped us cook. then ryan showed up with 5 burritos just for him. oh ya and his own sauce. lol. later on shane, logan, karissa, tony, wayne, steven, tyson and kevin came over also. oh man there were so many people in my little apartment. people were sitting on top of eachother and on the floor, just basically where ever there was space. the titans and the packers were playing. ya ummm the packers suck really bad. thats all i have to say. after the game we cleaned up and everyone left. my mom came home at around 10 30 and knew people were over cuz the apartment was too clean. haha. right before i went to bed i was talking to lauren for a while about stuff. haha. im so happy and excited for her. we'll find out this weekend if mine tonys and logans goal will happen. hopefully it will. :) Current Mood:  happy |
| Friday, October 8th, 2004 |
| 9:24 am |
so ya its been a century since i've written in this thing. so much has happened since school has started. me lauren and christine have been hanging out with the RMG alot. that has been nice hangin with them again. the only shitty part is that everytime we do hang out we end up sleeping in christines car which isnt that comfortable to tell you the truth. i finally got my bronco started and out of the edison parking lot. but now when i go to school abel is always in my spot. whats up with that. i so claimed that spot by not moving from it for a little more than a month. i finally moved out of fuck faces house. now me and my mom are living together in a one bedroom/ one bathroom apartment. ya its a little tough sharing a bed and in the morning gettin ready having to share the bathroom. its cool though. its a 2 story apartment. but theres no balcony. haha everyone seems to think its gonna be a big party house. id like to see them try to have a party in this little place. well homecoming is coming up next week. im really excited. hopefully everything will be good and everyone will have fun. who knows it might even be "beautiful". well im back home right now i gotta get my laundry done. could of had it done earlier but know lauren HAD to go back to class. i tried to get our tickets for the dance but they wouldnt let me so i gotta wait till monday. please dont be mad at me lauren. well i guess i really should be doing my laundry now. cuz i have nothing to wear for tonight. later Current Mood:  dirty |
| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 |
| 3:35 pm |
guess wat!?!....im a SENIOR!
so yesterday was registration for school. yup im a senior now! how cool. this year is gonna be sooo great. i got my schedule. i got a 0 period. its cool cuz ill get out of school at 12 but i dont know if im gonna be able to make it to school on time at 7 AM!!! last year when i started school at 8 30 i was late like everday! im not even serious! haha. but ya im pretty sure me and lauren have economics together 0 period. thats gonna be fun i cant wait. ive never had a class with lauren before. im really excited. for 1 period i got english then 2nd i got ceramics then 3rd i got alg 2/trig then 4th i got physics. and on top of that i have to go to adult school on tues and thurs nite cuz i gotta make up english class from last year. Rrrr i hate english! and this year i gotta take 2 english classes! then on mon and wed nites i gotta work. well at least i got my weekends free so i can still go to football games! YaY! well i gotta go cuz mollies going to alaska! :( i love her so much<3 |
| Saturday, August 14th, 2004 |
| 11:10 pm |
huh?
so ya im really bad about writing in this thing everyday. and cuz of that i cant really remember wat i've done in the past couple of days. well thursday mollie and karissa woke up all early so they could take me to work at 8 in the AM. thanks girls. i saw jeremy for like 2 hours cuz i worked morning and he was working nite. he said hi but then started ignoring me. i got kinda sad cuz i didnt understand so i just walked up to him and started talking to him instead of him always talking to me. i think it worked cuz he talked back and wasnt ignoring me anymore. he asked me wat my schedule was ( dont know wat that means either ) and then got out a piece of paper and pen like he was gonna write his number down or get mine or something i dont know but then mollie called. ya can we say COCK BLOCK! haha totally just kidding i love you mollie. but ya that distracted me and him so we just started talking about something else. davey and lauren came and picked me up. that was kinda scary but we made it home alrite.later that nite im pretty sure i went to jeremys. oh ya i remember everybody was boxing that nite. i wanted to but everybody kept stealing the boxing gloves from me so i never got a chance to. tony and mark were boxing and mark busted tonys lip open. yuck. if i were karissa i wouldnt kiss that. friday was a beach day. me christine cierra gorman mollie and lauren went to our usual spot at the beach. after a while though everybody wanted to leave to go to gormans pool. i wanted to stay at the beach but watever. majority rules. they left when i had to go to work. so they stayed for an extra 1/2 hour. we went to jamba juice then jacks girls. i guess we're having a sale for like a week or 2 and all clothing is 20% off. plus we're having a sidewalk sale where everything outside is 50 % off. it was crazy at work. tons of people. jeremy wasnt there. :( ... i was sad. he wasnt there this morning either! i dont know maybe hes on vacation or something. mo was telling me again how hes "divorcing his gf for me" haha i really dont believe him though. haha my friend daniella that works with me told me that she was talking with jeremy one day and he said that i was cute and that he flirts with me all the time. ya so he knows wat hes doing. but he wont take it any further. that makes me sad. he plays games too. cuz when he was talking to her he was like ya i think ill ignore her today. thats wat i was talking about earlier. i think he did that just to see how i would react though. actually i have no idea i dont know wats going on in his head rite now. after work my mom adn scott surprised me with me car. they fixed it so now it starts. now i just gotta fix my headlights and my brakes. after i got home i got lauren then went to walmart and in n out to get fat. that was good then we went home to get ready for the nite. i really didnt get ready though cuz i thought we were gonna go to jasons and if we were going there i didnt care wat we looked like but we were going to jeremys. same ol same ol. we visited jessica. she got off work early. shes gonna be gone for a week though. im sad. we left jeremys to drop off mollie at jasons so they could have drunk sex. personally i think drunk sex is better but he thats just me. anyway ya after we dropped her off we had nothing to do so i just had karissa take me home. and thats where i am now. i gotta go though. got work brite adn early in the morning.... Current Mood:  tired |
| Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 |
| 3:50 pm |
tAg! . .yOu'Re It ! ! !
well last nite christine cierra and ryan came and picked me up so we could hang out. i wasnt really sure at the time wat we were gonna do but i didnt care i wanted to spend time with my girls!...and ryan. but before they came and picked me up i talked to lauren and she said kim was gonna hang out too. i thought that was wierd especially since lauren was hanging out too. we were gonna get her after they came for me. i was kinda curious to see how things were gonna be. so when they came to pick me up i didnt see kim in the car. i figured that maybe we were gonna pick her up after me. we didnt we got lauren first. so were sittin in the car trying to decide wat we were gonna do for the nite and i was thinking to myself wait isnt kim supposed to be with us. so i say something about it. i was like " uhhh wait wheres kim?" christine and cierra were so confused. they were like "what? kim?" then i got confused. no one knew wat was going on or wat i was talking about. ya lauren lied to me. so it was just the 5 of us hanging out. we went to lake park to play tag cuz it was RYANS idea. it was fun though. i got stuck in a tree. its ok though i ended up making it down just fine. me and lauren were on the swings the spider way. haha those damn chains man. those hurt so bad. me and cierra tried hiding but we didnt suceed with that too well considering that we were hiding in a jungle gym full of GIANT HOLES. haha . i ended up coming out of hiding cuz the sand smelt like cat piss and christine found cierra. we left the park to go visit mollie at work. you know she works at the market broiler which sells turkey but its not a restaraunt. haha i love cierra. she got us free sprite. nice. we went to taco bell cuz ryan was hungry. lauren and cierra were trying to order at the same time. that was a lil difficult for the guy to understand but he did. christine paid with her -debit- card. she knows the difference now. we took mollie back to her car so she could go spend time with jason. we then started driving around. we had nothing to do again. then me and lauren remembered about CDT. so we were like "christine,...CDT!" and she says "im trying! ryan get it!" haha oh man that was so funny. she thought we were trying to say CD. we did go to CDT though but no one was there. oh wait eric won ton was there. just to let everybody know....ryan was the one who gave him that name. well after that there was nothing to do so everybody went home. i was gonna stay over at laurens but i remembered i that i had laundry to do the next day. ya i still gotta sneak my laundry in the washer and dryer without scott finding out and the only time to do that is in the morning. ya its retarded. i fucking hate it at my house! and lately my mom has been pissing me off more than usual. shes just being a dumbass and i cant stand her. well im gonna try and get a hold of my girls cuz karissa is back and i think everyone is with her rite now. sooo ya....later. Current Mood: okay |
| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004 |
| 5:12 pm |
i love my girls
today i woke up ate some food then got ready for the day. mollie amber jessica and lauren came and picked me up to go to lunch. we went to burger king where christine and cierra met up with us. we were there for an hour just hanging out and talking. we then left and didnt really know where we were going so we decided to go "look at the waves" we went downtown and parked for free. i hope they dont think it was us girls that ripped the pay box out. haha christines mom is so funny. we walked down to the beach and just did nothing really cuz we didnt have our bathing suits. we went to dianes so jessica could go bathing suite shopping. she never got anything though. i saw this poncho that was really cool though. im gonna go back and get it i swear. haha ill look like a true hippy. i cant wait. we then left to go to rite aid. mollie jessica and amber left cuz mollie was going to jasons, jessica had chores to do, and amber had to go to cheer. haha we decided when football season comes around we are gonna make amber shirts. we're gonna be so cool. anyway when they left we went and got gorman then went to her pool. we had fun doing flying squirrels and wat not. haha cierra was telling a story and she was "not even serious!" lol oh man i love her soo much. shes so great. we had to leave cuz lauren had to get ready for cheer so everyone just went home. now im here waiting to see wats gonna happen tonite. Current Mood:  jubilant |
| 12:30 am |
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| Sunday, August 8th, 2004 |
| 5:07 pm |
he has a girlfriend.... : (
saturday morning i woke up early cuz i had work. talked with jeremy for 8 hours again.....and i found out that the rumor was true. he does have a girlfriend. hes only been with her for a month though so hopefully they arent too attached yet. haha this girl i work with, daniella, says i should be a homewrecker and still go for him. shes having a party on the 21st for her birthday and she has a plan that will get me and jeremy to hook up. so she goes to jeremy tells him about her party and says that he has to come. so he says alrite thats when she threw in the curve. she tells him that he cant bring his gf though. he was like why? and she told him that she has a friend who's gonna be there who likes him. he was like does she work here with us? (( can someone explain to me what that means... does that mean he already knows that i like him? )) so she lies and says no its my friend, austin. haha i dont know wat she was thinking when she came up with that name. so then he was like umm how does she know me? she was like oh she saw you yesterday and thought you were cute. haha jeremy: umm i didnt work yesterday. oh man. do daniella was like oh well it was some other day then. he said he'll go with out his gf to see this mystery girl and he said that if shes cute he'll leave his gf for her. i was kinda surprised he said that. but watever. so after work amber and lauren came to get me. we were walking up main (( i didnt have my car so we had to walk home )) when we saw jeremy walking towards us with his gf. oh man. shes tall and blonde. amber says shes not that pretty though. we kept walking. i had to hide behind a building and change into ambers tank top cuz my long sleeve shirt was just to hot. and i looked like a fuck. we kept walking and amber remembered that her friend rachel lived on main and we went to her house to ask for a ride home. (( i was friends with rachel too at hbhs.... small world )) haha then amber notices that rachels dad is watching porn. ya we could see it through the living room window. so we were debating whether we should knock on the door still. we did and her dad came to the door and said rachel wasnt there. so we left and kept walking. haha i noticed that he had a boner. EeEwWw!!! we decided we would walk to jeremys house cuz most likely tony would be there and then he could give us a ride home the rest of the way. we made a lil pit stop to see jessica at munchies. she looked so cute. she was the only girl. i couldnt really talk to her though cuz i was on the phone with my friend brittany from burbank. she was supposed to be moving down here this weekend so i called to see wats up. i guess shes gonna come down next weekend instead. shes been saying that for like 3 weeks now but watever. im excited for her to come down. senior year is gonna be so much fun. especially with her here. shes a fun girl and HOTT. HB better watch out. haha jk. we then left munchies and went to jeremys and sure enough tony was there with all the other boys too. so tony took us to laurens. we hung out like all nite there. laurens parents ran away for the night so lauren didnt have a curfew but we had no car to go anywhere so we were stranded at her house. it was cool though. my mom had to pick me up cuz i had to be at work in the morning. work was boring. i was excited though cuz christine came back on sunday. i had to go home before i could hang out with her though cuz there was a bbq at my house that i had to go to. afterwards i took a shower and got ready for the nite with my girls. christine lauren amber and cierra came and picked me up then we went and got mollie. we had nothing to do and were just driving around. we were gonna go visit kordell but he was too cool for us so we just kept driving around. we drove by this car full of guys and they were like hey were having a bbq follow us! haha so we did! oh man it was so random. there were so many boys and they all lived in this huge nice house. it was like empty inside though so that made it look even bigger. perfect party house. we were hanging out in the garage playing pool. ya ummm mollie and cierra suck at pool. but cierra did get on ball in. haha. after a while we left and got amber then went to jeremys. jeremys was fun except he didnt have any toilet paper and all us girls had to pee. haha it was such a mission that nite to find toilet paper. i ended up stealing some from the liquor store. me cierra amber and lauren walked to munchies to get some food (( not to visit jessica...she got in trouble last time )) haha me and cierra got free hats. that was cool. another example of how V.I.P we are. haha we went back to jeremys. lots of people were coming constantly. oh and for the record... i didnt break the round chair it was brian! he jumped on it and completely broke it. k just wanted to get that cleared up. but ya jeremys mom was getting really mad cuz there were way more people at her house than she would have liked there to be so alot of people got kicked out. haha anthony got kicked out. oh man he was so creepy. he hugged me and wouldnt let go and was like "alicia i miss hanging out with you" ahhh i hung out with this kid i think 3 times and was his gf without knowing and then he broke up with me RRRrrr hes just a complete creepo and i didnt know wat to say to him when he said that cuz i dont miss hanging out with him so i just laughed. he was drunk though and wouldnt let go of me and i was kinda getting scared cuz everyone was inside and we were outside. he finally loosened up a bit and i ran inside. cierra had to be home by 11 so tony let me drive his car to take her. it was so different than my bronco. his car was so easy to drive that it made it difficult for me cuz im used to my bronco. it was nice though. we had music. we put gas in it cu it was on low and his low fuel light was on. i brought the car back. he was so scared. haha. then ambers cousin chris came and got us and brought us home. this morning i woke up at 12 30 ate some food and watched some tv untill i started getting ready for work. mollie and lauren had to take me cuz my car is still being retarded and wont start. im so mad at it. work was pretty boring. there was no jeremy for me to talk to. but the security guard, mo , was talking to me and was like i know you like jeremy. haha oh man i didnt know wat to say. he was like ya the little girl daniella told me. i was like ya but he has a gf. he was like hes divorcing her though for you. oh man that made me so happy but i didnt really believe him. he said ya you didnt know that? everybody knows that jeremy likes you. then this guy randy who works in surfboard section was like yai was surfing with him earlier today and he said he likes you. i dont know well just have to see wat happens im really excited though..... Current Mood: excited |
| Friday, August 6th, 2004 |
| 11:51 pm |
a lil bummed
today was boring. i woke up at 7 30 ((dont ask why)) i watched saved by the bell, the college years, then the movie Mickey Blue Eyes and then dawsons creek. i tanned for a bit in my backyard then i took a shower and got ready for work. ya i was bummed when i went into work cuz jeremy wasnt there :( he should be there tomorrow though for sure so im looking forward to that. but as my night went on at work i found out from tawnee that he has a girlfriend. ya that got me totally bummed. im just telling myself that its a rumor though. and if its true i dont care. im not giving up on this kid. hes attractive and nice and i want him! ill seduce him away from his girlfriend i swear. haha. i really hope its not true though. im gonna ask him tomorrow. but ya after work amber mollie and lauren came to pick me up and we went to jasons to watch badder santa. funny movie man funny movie. i need to see the whole thing though. me and amber took mollies car to go get in n out. YuMmmY. we sang ashlee simpson. took a lil detour. and then went back to jasons. we were supposed to hang out with the ryans but they ditched us for vanessa and kristen? i dont know her name but i know vanessa. ya i dont like her. ryan says we'll go to the beach tomorrow though. im a lil bummed cuz i have work but then im not cuz jeremy will be with me! :) we better hang out with ryan sometime this weekend though..... Current Mood: disappointed |
| Wednesday, August 4th, 2004 |
| 4:03 pm |
fuck people!
alright tuesday started out kinda shitty. my mom told me that we were moving to irvine and she wanted me to come with her to see the apartment we were gonna move into but we couldnt cuz the people were in a meeting till 3 or something. so i just decided to pay my car insurance instead but when i went to 7 11 to get my money order my car wouldnt start up again so i could go home. i was a lil embarassed and scared cuz there was this huge truck sitting right next to me full of mexicans. they were totally staring at me and lauging. it was horrible. i called my mom to come pick me up and when she came she told me to try to start my car so she could hear wat it sounds like. ya of course it starts then. usually though it makes this screaming noise like theres a cat in my engine or something. i swear you can ask my friends they've heard it too. my mom just followed me home to make sure i got there ok. then mollie lauren jessica and amber picked me up to go to the beach. on the way there we were listening to ashlee simpson. haha me amber are such good singers. "livin in the SHADOW! of someone elses DREEAAMMSS! lol mollie said i shouldnt quit my day job. we went in the movie theater parking lot and discovered that there was a whole other level of parking. it was such a secret. a whole level full of free parking spaces. we went to taco bell got some food. i got a huge drink i couldnt handle it. mollie had to take some for me cuz she spilt hers anyway. haha wat a dork. at the beach we saw guy and his friends and amber ran off with her other friends AGAIN. so us girls started talking and jessica told me and lauren some very important information that we needed to know. im really glad SOMEBODY told us shit! that was seriously the last piece of the puzzle that me and lauren were trying to figure out. so here it is for everyone to know. TYSON LAGGENBAUR AND CASEY CUNNINGHAM ARE CHEATERS. YES THEY CHEATED ON ME AND LAUREN WHEN WE WERE STILL TOGETHER. ME AND LAUREN HAD NO IDEA UNTILL 5 MONTHS AFTER WE BROKE UP. WE KNOW THAT THERE WAS A PLAN TO BREAK UP WITH US. CASEY WAS SUPPOSED TO BREAK UP WITH LAUREN FIRST THEN TYSON WAS SUPPOSED TO BREAK UP WITH ME A MONTH LATER SO IT WOULDNT BE OBVIOUS. YA AND FUCKING ALEX CASTILLO AND BRITTANY CADE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME ABOUT EVERYTHING AND DIDNT BOTHER TO TELL US. FUCK THEM. I HOPE YOU ALL GO TO HELL. AND YOU ALL DESERVE EACHOTHER. AND AFTER WE FIND THIS OUT WE DECIDE TO CONFRONT THOSE FUCKERS ABOUT EVERYTHING. I DONT KNOW WHY BUT TYSON CASEY AND ALEX ARE STILL DENYING IT TO THIS DAY. SERIOUSLY THERES NO REASON TO KEEP IT A SECRET ANYMORE. WERE NOT TOGETHERE ANYMORE SO WHY KEEP LYING ABOUT!?! THAT REALLY PUT ME AND LAUREN IN A BAD MOOD. ESPECIALLY WHEN ALEX WAS DENYING EVER EVEN HAVING THE CONVERSATION WITH JESSICA ABOUT IT IN PHYSIOLOGY CLASS. SERIOUSLY ALEX IS A DUMBASS. TYSON IS A DUMBASS. CASEY IS A DUMBASS. AND ME AND LAUREN ARE DUMBASSES TOO FOR BEING COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE WHOLE INCIDENT. I FEEL LIKE EVEN MORE OF A DUMBASS CUZ THOSE FUCKERS THINK THEY CAN DENY IT AND HAVE US STILL BELIEVE THEM. RRRrrrr! WATEVER FUCK THEM IN THE ASS.....AND HARD. we were hanging out at laurens for a while. amber made cake. me and jess couldnt wait for the frosting we just ate it as soon as it came out of the oven. amber got kinda mad. oh well. later on it started smelling like gas really strong it was like coming from outside or something cuz it smelt bad at my house too. me and my mom finally went to go see the apartment that we were gonna move into but it was rented out already. haha im glad. theres no way i was gonna move all the way to irvine! my mom was kinda upset though cuz it was rented an hour before she called to come look at it again and put a deposit on it. later that nite i hung out with tyler kordell and brandon. i made kordell bring his yearbook so i could see jeremy in it. ya he looks alot different than wat he looks like in the year book. i think he looks way better now. we were at starbucks talking about that then we took brandon home and then hung out at a park. me and tyler were yellin at eachother cuz i think hes a slut and he thinks im a slut. kordell dropped me off at jeremys house. ( a different jeremy) and i met up with lauren amber tony adn all those boys. tony told me that tyson accused him of being apart of some shit that was only supposed to be between me and tyson. so i had to call him and tell him that tony had nothing to do with it. cuz he didnt. but tyson was just being the usual asshole. at jeremys house was this girl stefanie who is friends with amber and goes to FV. she knows jeremy. my jeremy from jacks. not the guy whos house we were at. and she says hes nice but is kinda dorky. honestly i dont care cuz he is a nice guy. and i enjoy talking with him. i spent the nite at laurens. the next day we did alot of nothing. we hung out with the ryans though! that was so much fun. talking and just having fun like we used to in the good ole days. i found out alot of stuff that nite. and i still feel like a dumbass about the whole disneyland trip cuz ryan swore on his life that nothing happened at disneyland. ( he was there) but still why would alex and britt say that then? i dont know. im soo confused and i dont know who to believe or trust. i hate that. all in all i did have fun. i came home that nite. today i tanned for a while in my backyard. then went shopping with lauren. we went downtown and while lauren was in another store i went into jacks to get my paycheck and i saw him! awww that made my day. i still think hes cute. we said hi to eachother didnt really talk but thats cuz i was in n outta there. i just wanted my check. kordells advice to me is the next time i work with him i should get his number. but im too scared! im such a girl. well we'll see wat happens cuz i work tomorrow and i think he does too. YaY!! Current Mood: ecstatic |
| Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 |
| 12:40 am |
so much... so much
ok its been a REALLY long time since i've written in this thing. christine and kariss are now gone. i miss them so much! <3 so much has happened that i need to write about. 1. tysons an asshole adn thats really all i have to say. im not gonna wasted my time writing about him. 2. nick and aaron carter came into my work on sunday. that was kinda wierd i thought. i kinda got mad too cuz it just attracted way too many people to our store. ya it got way crowded. they arent even that hott or anything. but i can say right now that nick isnt with that hilton slut anymore cuz i saw him holding hands with some other girl and he got tawnee's number. (she works at the cashregister) yup he called her today. haha how exciting. 3. i met someone way better than those dumb blonde boys at work. i met a boy that i am very attracted to. he surfs. he plays baseball for FV high school. hes gonna be a senior just like me. he DOESNT have long hair. he mumbles alot. he gave me a present. he talked to me for 8 hours. he knows my friends kordell, paul and russel. he is jeremy. he is very cool and im kinda upset that i dont know when im gonna see him next. cuz when i saw him and was talking with him i wasnt working my usual shift. i was covering for someone. so im trying to have kordell and russel hook me up. oh ya and incase you didnt catch on, he works at jacks with me. 4. i got dumped. haha ya ummm thats twice for me now. lol but im not counting it cuz i didnt even know i was with this kid. i seriously hung out with him i think 3 times. ya i guess he took it upon himself to decide that we were together. then broke up with me through a text. haha oh god my life is so funny. well im outta here. gonna try adn keep up with this everyday Current Mood:  giddy |
| Sunday, July 25th, 2004 |
| 11:42 pm |
boring day
ya well im still grounded. its kinda shitty i hate staying home when my friends are out. this morning i went to work. it was better today. i like the morning shift alot better than nite. it goes by faster. but ya at work i helped a deaf customer. that was really interesting but i helped her and it was so cool how i could communicate with her. sometime during work i would say around 2 30 it started smelling like weed. like really strong too. hahah all us workers just looked at eachother and were kinda like ummm wat the hell whos smoking. it was so wierd. the smell ended up passing by like 10 mins later. after work i was driving home and i saw allen and brad as i was driving. haha kinda wierd that i saw those two people today. i dont think allen saw me but i know brad did. we waved to eachother. cuz we're friends! but he wasnt driving in his chevelle. hmmm i wonder. i came home ate dinner talked online. i love lauren christine baldwin soo much. no one will ever know. my buddy tyler called me and i talked to him for a while. he ruined a surprise for me which kinda sucks but watever. anthony called me a lil bit after that and we were talking for a while. i think we're gonna hang out tomorrow. ooooh how exciting!! Current Mood: excited |
| Saturday, July 24th, 2004 |
| 8:18 pm |
shit
so ya lots of shit has happened since i've last written in this thing. of course i've been hanging out with my girls everyday. i got a job at jacks surfboards. its an alrite job. it hurts my knees though. so ya i've been hanging out with this kid anthony reid. hes cool. we've been watching movies and talking. hes a cool kid. i like hanging out with him. heheh we kissed. ya that was nice. but hes going away to san diego state for school and thats just gonna suck cuz im starting to like this kid. hmmm well we'll see wat happens. im grounded this weekend which sucks ass. i dont understand it at all. i can not come home for an entire weekend( i ran away ) and come home drunk off my ass and miss my SATs the next morning cuz i have a hangover and not get grounded but i get grounded for leaving a soda can in my room. really wat is that? i dont know. its pretty fucked up though. so i had some free time on my hands last nite and remembered this kid who was in my class in elementary school ( he was a grade ahead of me, it was one of those split levels classes ) named james rodriguez. ya hes the same james that went to edison and gaduated this year. its so weird. who would have known that i would ever see that kid again. not only see him but talk to him( i had been to some parties that he was at and talked to him, hes also friends with my best friend lauren )and not know that we had crossed pathes sometime before. its funny how things work out cuz we went to elementary school in simi valley which is an hour and a half up north adn inland. im still not over it. even when i went to school in burbank for sophomore year i saw someone who went to the same elementary school as me also. he even remembered me too, i doubt james remembers me but who knows i havent asked him cuz i just figured it out last nite and i havent seen him since we ran into him at the oc fair. its kinda cool how things like that happen. well i think im outta here now. Current Mood:  optimistic |
| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004 |
| 11:33 pm |
almost died
today us girls ate lunch at mollies house, that was fun. afterwards me and karissa went to anthony rieds house. watched some willy wonka [i love that movie ] and just hung out. i had to take to karissa to work at 2 then i went to laurens adn hung out with her. i love lauren sooo much. shes so awesome. even though shes abusive and tore my arm apart. jessica and cierra were driving by to spy on lauren adn saw that i was there so they came in and we were hanging out. we all then left laurens to pick up christine. [ she didnt have her car cuz there was an accident with her mom ] we went back to laurens. hung out some more. jessica adn cierra ended up leaving. then me lauren and christine went to go get christine gorman and then go to the passing league game at westminster high. ya we never made it. lauren looks at my temperture gage more than i do adn gets scared cuz she sees that my car's getting hot. so she makes me stop to water in it. at this point we were late it was 5 something and we needed to be at the old spagetti factory by 6 so we figured if we did go to the game we were gonna be there for like 5 mins and then have to leave. so that would be dumb cuz it would just be a waste of gas. so we took christine gorman home adn then we were on our way to newport for dinner. but lauren wanted to pull over again to put water in my jug. now i dont remember if i opened my hood at this time or wat cuz when we got on the road again on brookhurst street my hood flew up. it scared the shit outta me. you really dont know. all of a sudden i heard this loud pop and then the hood just flew up and i couldnt see anything. i slammed on the brakes. [ by the way im in the fast lane on the far left ] and was looking out of my window to see where i was going. i stopped ran infront of my car to shut the hood. then when im running to get back in my car i see that theres a cop stopped behind me. he comes up and was like wats going on. i was just like uhh my hood just flew open and he was like ya i see that. he was just like ya lets get you back on the road safely. oh man. that was seriously the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my life. not being able to see while your driving on a major street with cars all around you. ya i was scared out of my mind. well me made it to dinner alrite. met up with laurens mom and her friends. ryan was the host adn had to be nice to us. ahah that was funny. i havent seen him all summer. he looked different to me. haha our waitress thinks he's hot. yup she admitted it to us. well were ready to leave adn i couldnt find my keys. ya i pulled a sarah and left my keys in the ignition of my car. i was happy no one stole it. so ya we were driving home and i almost hit a car as i was changing lanes. i was so close, i scared myself. i was so fucking lucky i missed that car. we got gas and christine cleaned my windshield with the squeegy. she had a business going on cuz she washed some other guys window too. haha and then some dad was tellin us not to open my radiator cuz it was gonna blow up in my face. i like how everyone thinks they know more about my car than i do. like im just some hopeless dumb girl. oh well. watcha gonna do. we then picked up cierra and met up with mollie at casey's softball game. ya mollies casey from work not kaycee rice. sorry jason. haha. well after the game i took everybody home and here i am sittin and typing about my day. im kinda scared of tomorrow though cuz i have and interview at jacks then i have to take my senior pic and i gotta hang out with christine cuz shes gonna be gone for like a month! im so sad. Current Mood: sad |
| 11:57 am |
i H a T e L o V e </3
lll ooo vvv eee sucks uhhh I hate love... I hate everything about it. The way it makes you feel when your no longer together. I hate how it can make you the luckiest person in the world and then the saddest. I hate how people can just stop being in love. like nothing ever happend. I hate how people change... whats the point of love anyway. If in the end it just makes you feel like shit. because you cant be with the person that everything feels right with. I hate how its all different. and nothing will ever be the same. I hate knowing that there was someone out there that can make me feel so much different than everyone else, so much luckier. I just want to know when the feelings gonna go away...when I can stop comparing every guy to him and just be who I was before him. just be me without him for good...and it seems like everytime I try I cant. I see him..and I fall in love with him all over again...I get all weird and I get those butterflies I used to love to get and my knees would start to shake. or I hear about something he has done and it makes me feel soo shitty. and I thought I could get over it after a few months and it seems liek it just gets worse. I never thought love could hurt this much. ahh I hate fuking love. Kaycee Rice Kaycee explained love perfectly. i couldnt have said it any better. she feels exactly how i feel and that sucks cuz im very hurt and bitter towards love, and so is she. i dont like knowing other people are hurting just like me cuz the pain im feeling is the most horrible pain i have ever felt in my life. Current Mood: depressed |
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